BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
