i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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