I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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