i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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