Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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