It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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