let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
