I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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