I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
