But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to have your abortion
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
