People in love make me want to vomit
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
