If i come over, it means nothing
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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