Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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