She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
