Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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