It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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