I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dick very happy bro
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
