sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
