Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
