just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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