I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
