We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
