i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
