wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
