please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
