Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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