So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
