I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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