Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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