I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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