its not stalking. its research.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
