The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just high enough for therapy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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