I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
