Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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