Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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