I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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