worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
