I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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