i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
