she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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