what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need to align my fucking chakras
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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