I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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