I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
