i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
