sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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