Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
