Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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