So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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