How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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