god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
