forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
