Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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